On the edge
by lokijiro
Summary: Frigga's thoughts the night before Thor's coronation.


As she walked along the gallery, Frigga could hear the sounds of merriment wafting up from the banquet hall. They were celebrating Thor's imminent coronation. Tomorrow, her son would be king. How queer that felt. He was still no more than a youth. Rash, headstrong and naive. _But he is able to make people love him_, she thought as she heard another cry of « To the new king! ». Thor had always easily won the fierce devotion of nearly everyone he came in contact with. The other children had eagerly followed him. _And now, all of Asgard will do the same_, she thought with a strange thrill. _Whether Thor will use such power wisely is another matter, but thankfully. . ._

She stopped in her tracks as she sensed a familiar presence. She turned left, and softly opened a door. She entered a round golden room, and a cold breeze washed over her as only pillars stood where the sliding walls opened and closed. Her youngest son, standing on the edge, turned around briskly and looked startled for a brief moment. Loki had only made a short appearance at the beginning of the feast, and had then been absent from the festivities. She gave him a smile, to reassure him that she had no intention of reproaching him on that count. Tomorrow would be a big day, but today's celebrations were not official. She padded next to him.

« It's a beautiful night », she said simply. Thousands and thousands of stars were shining brightly. « Have you eaten anything this evening? I didn't see you touch any food. »

Loki rolled his eyes, but his smile was gentle. « I ate, Mother. I'm a little too old for you to fuss over me so. »

« I know how old you are. » Loki had come of age a couple of deacades ago, and now even her baby boy was (barely) a grown man. « Do you remember when the four of us would sit in this room by the fire and look at the night sky? »

« Yes. » His eyes traveled to the couch by the currently cold hearth.

« You always wanted to go to the edge to try and touch the moons and stars. I had to hold you tightly against me to prevent you from falling off. » A gust of wind made their cloaks flap noisily. « And now we will all be under you and your brother's rule. »

Loki looked at her. « Thor will be king. » She wasn't sure if she heard a note of anger in his voice.

« Darling, you are perceptive enough to see that the Allfather did not rule the Nine Realms by himself all those millennia. Or do you give his counsellors and your mother so little credit? »

« Certainly not. I know it is because of you that Asgard still stands », he said in a light tone.

« Your father and I have both tried to be assets to the realm. The king is the figure where the simple-minded believe all power resides, but you should know better. » She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. « You're a good brother to Thor, Loki. He is lucky to have you. I know that so long as he has you by his side, Asgard will be in good hands. »

Loki's face remained still. He turned away from her to stare at the sky and picked at his left hand. « As you say, Mother. »

Frigga wrapped an arm around his shoulders. « And it's all right if you're not wholly pleased for him. » There was no reply.

_It must be no easy thing, being the second son._ Loki had grown up with the knowledge of Thor's eventual, almost inevitable ascension to the throne, and it will finally happen tomorrow. The large shadow cast by his brother was never more keenly felt than now. Not for the first time, Frigga found herself wishing she could somehow just _give_ the kingship to Loki. Just for a short while. It was a foolish notion, and she knew it, but ruling well in his own name would give him the glory and praise he was so often denied.

« I love you, Loki. » Her son pressed a quick kiss on her cheek. « I love you too. Good night, Mother. » He left the room, silent as a shadow.

Frigga was left alone in the moonlight. The wind blew again, and she hugged herself, deep in thought. Loki had always been too clever for his own good. Observant, subtle and quick on his feet, he deftly moved the pieces around him. Where Thor was a warrior, Loki was a player. Where Thor acted from impulse, Loki acted from calculation. Together, they would be a force to be reckoned with. _And yet. . ._

In his own way, Loki was every bit as bold and heedless as her firstborn. _And he is so sensitive._ As shrewd as he was, he was much more led by his emotions than his intellect. His heart was what made him so fiercely loyal to his family. _And yet, and yet. . ._

Frigga knew that Loki loved his brother. She also knew that he resented him. How could he not? All of Asgard fawned over the Mighty Thor. Loki's talents never received such applause. They were not what one expected to see in an Asgardian prince. When he was a child, Loki had ran to her and wept in her skirts whenever he was upset. But that little boy who was easily brought to tears had grown up. _And somewhere along the way, he stopped pouring his heart out to me._ He now spent most of his time apart from her, pursuing his interests, enacting mischief. Frigga told herself that this was only natural; a mother couldn't cling to her child forever. But a part of her wondered if Loki was secretive out of bitterness. Inside a harsh voice whispered, _How could a child you raised in a lie not be secretive?_

The cool air made Frigga shiver. For the first five hundred years of Loki's life, every now and then, she would argue with Odin to tell him the truth. Then, she had stopped bringing up the subject. It seemed too late. And what did his birth matter? Loki had been her son since he was placed in her arms as a newborn. _My son, whom I deceived._ Suddenly, the stars looked cold and uncaring, as bright and merciless as the truth.

Frigga turned her back to the night to retire to her chambers. Tomorrow, Thor would be crowned. There was no choice. Odin was old and weak. This had to happen now. All she could do was have faith in her sons.


End file.
